How To Be The Most Positive Person In The Room

I love this!  Thank you Lindsay Holmes of the Huffington Post. -- Dr. Dale

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How To Be The Most Positive Person In The Room

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/03/positive-habits_n_5753102.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

No one wants to be -- or be around -- a Negative Nancy. Positive people encourage others to be happier and more comfortable with themselves because their energy is contagious. And with all the adversity we face in our lives, it's no wonder that kind of outlook is appealing.

Studies show optimism certainly has its benefits. And even though it's always possible to find the negatives in a situation, there are a few ways to cultivate the sort of mindset where you choose to see the positives. (After all, as Oscar Wilde once said, "We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.")

So how do we become a positive power wherever we go? Try these science-backed strategies:

Put kindness first.

We never forget the times people show compassion toward us, whether it's a genuine smile from a stranger when we look down, or a friend who surprises us with ice cream and a movie after we've just been dumped. And turns out, it's not just the recipient of kindness who experiences benefits -- research shows those simple, empathetic behaviors make us happier, too.

Talk to someone you don't know.

While we tend to ignore those we don't know, a recent study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology suggests we should be doing the opposite for the sake of our happiness. Researchers found that talking to strangers increases positive experiences through feelings of social connectedness. Step outside of your comfort zone and strike up a conversation with someone new in the room -- you just might find yourself in a happier mood.

Go for a walk down memory lane.

Letting our minds wander back to our glory days has a way of making us feel warm and fuzzy inside -- and there's a reason for it. According to research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, feeling nostalgic about the past will increase optimistic feelings for the future (and as optimists well know, the best is yet to come).

Take charge.

Those with optimistic attitudes have an innate ability to bring out joy in others, and as a result, they're incredibly effective leaders. People who look on the bright side tend to be more inspiring communicators and have a way of rallying others around them to see the positive, Forbes points out. These kinds of leaders don't just know what it takes to get tasks done -- they encourage others around them to optimistically do the same.

Be mindful of your body language.

The secret to a positive attitude may just start with positive posture. Research suggests that uncrossing your arms, standing tall and having a more approachable demeanor can all be positive marks of confidence. Studies also show that even just the simple act of smiling can make you seem more open (not to mention it can also boost your mood).

Listen more than you speak.

Good listening skills are a quiet, yet coveted power -- and being a good listener also conveys positivity. "When you listen, you open up your ability to take in more knowledge versus blocking the world with your words or your distracting thoughts," David Mezzapelle, author of Contagious Optimism, previously explained to HuffPost Healthy Living. "You are also demonstrating confidence and respect for others. Knowledge and confidence is proof that you are secure and positive with yourself, thus radiating positive energy."

Open yourself up to positive thoughts.

It's natural for us to dwell on the negative, but the truth is, we all have the capacity to look at life through a glass half full. The key to being a positive force is to open yourself up to like-minded thoughts. One way to do that? Practice gratitude. Studies show reflecting on what you're thankful for can make you a happier, more positive person. And when's the last time anyone hated counting their blessings?

Stressed? Think again.

This is a really great article about stress management.  Something we all should read. -- Dr. Dale

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Stress-Free Is As Near to You As Your Own Thoughts

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/don-joseph-goewey-/stressfree-is-as-near-to-you-as-your-own-thoughts_b_5767360.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

If you take a close look at stress over the course of a busy week, you're likely to discover that stress is happening in you far more than to you. It has more to do with the anxious way you relate to people and events than with the events themselves.

"We humans generate all sorts of stressful events purely in our heads ... linked to mere thoughts," states Robert Sapolsky, one of the world's leading stress researchers.

It's the way worried, pessimistic, stress-provoking thoughts ignite upsetting emotions that generate a sense of threat, when a real threat isn't verifiably present.

It's called psychological stress and it can flood your system with adrenaline and cortisol, sending your mind and body into an uproar. If these kinds of stress reactions become chronic, it will gradually wear out your body, depress your mood and could contribute to killing you. And it all begins with the stress provoking thoughts we think.

Recall the last time an email caused your mind to race with anxious thoughts, painting you mentally into a tight corner. This tight corner makes the world appear threatening, and we believe the threat our mind imagines is real. But it isn't real; it's the mind making up emergencies that the primitive brain assumes must be happening simply because you imagined it. The primitive brain possesses the intelligence of a two-year old, and when it senses any kind of danger, real or imagined, it sets off a fight, flight, or freeze reaction.

For the last 500 years, we've been quoting the great French statesman Michel de Montaigne, who said, "My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened." There's now a study to back up Montaigne. This study found that 85 percent of what we worry about never happens, and that the 15 percent that does happen turns out better than we expect. We laugh at Montaigne's comment because we see ourselves in it, but we often miss the message.

So here's the message: most of our stress is a form of mental suffering we inflict on ourselves by believing thoughts that aren't even true.

I knew a lawyer who was in litigation over a dispute between two large corporations. There was a lot at stake and this lawyer, who I'll call William, thought he was losing the case. He blamed it on the opposing litigator, who he described as unscrupulous and crooked. William was stressed about the case and he was becoming increasingly difficult for his legal team to work with. He was taking the case home at night. He thought about it incessantly, lost sleep over it, and as his stress level increased, he began to lose his edge and make bad decisions. By the time I ran into him he was exhausted.

Biologically, where there's stress, there's fear, so I asked William, "What are you afraid of?"

"Losing the case, of course," he said glaring at me as if I'd asked a stupid question.

"And if you lose the case, what are you afraid of?" I asked.

"Looking like a fool," he said nervously.

"And what's the fear of looking like a fool?" I asked.

"I'll lose my reputation," he said, and I could see terror flash in his eyes.

"So what's the fear of losing your reputation?"

"Well ... I'll lose my clients ... and my job ... and my livelihood." All at once, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. When I asked him what he was feeling, he said, "I see myself pushing a shopping cart down Main Street."

You can see in his last statement how far the mind can travel when we are afraid and really stressed. This was the story running in the back of William's mind, and the more stressed he became the more he believed the story.

So, I asked William, "Have you lost the case yet?"

"No," he said, "it's still on-going."

"Any chance you might turn things around and win?" I asked.

"Well, yes," he said. "I suppose there's an outside chance. You never know what a jury might do."

Next I asked, "Do you really think people see you as a fool?"

"No," he said somewhat self-consciously. "People respect me."

"If you lose this case will you really be in jeopardy of losing your clients?"

"No, it's not very likely," he said. "Everyone knows you win some, you lose some." He began to breathe easier and the lines on his forehead began to relax.

"Will you really be asked to leave the firm if you lose the case?"

"No," he laughed. "They're making me a partner." It was the first he'd smiled in some time.

"So," I said, "It's safe to say that you won't be pushing a shopping cart down Main Street any time soon, right?"

"Right," he laughed.

So I asked William: "Who would you be without these fearful thoughts?"

"I'd be calm," he said. "My mind would be clear. I'd sleep better. My decision-making would be a lot smarter. And I'd be nicer to my team."

This had a happy ending: When William went back to work on the case, he was at the top of his game. He wasn't undermining himself with stress-provoking thoughts.

A better life is as near to us as our own thoughts. In the last twenty years, biology has established that the vast biochemical environment that constitutes our brain and body is shaped by our mental state. So, become keenly aware of stress-provoking thoughts and tell yourself, these thoughts are in me, not in reality. Then choose not to believe them. If you don't believe a stressful thought, it doesn't turn into stress and anxiety. The ticket to the health, wealth, and love we seek is cultivating a mental state that every day brings a little more peace into our experience, a little more empathy into our heart, and a little more gratitude into our attitude. This is how the door swings open to a better life.

The Benefits Of Sunlight

This is just so amazing.  The power of the sun is incredible on our bodies. Thank you Dr. Mao Shing Ni.

-- Dr. Dale.

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Dr. Mao Shing Ni's Wellness Living: The Benefits Of Sunlight

SUNDAY, 27 APR 2014, 8:47:00 AM

DR. MAO SHING NI

With the beautiful weather of spring here and summer closing in, people are spending more and more time outdoors and the power and benefits of the sun are essential. A lack of sunshine can affect us physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Many centenarians understand the power of the sun. They rise at dawn, and sundown is their bedtimes. Sunlight, as we know, can either be helpful or destructive to our health, depending on the level of exposure.

The ultraviolet rays of the sun are a natural sterilizer, killing bacteria and fungus on the skin as well as promoting the production of vitamin D. It can also stimulate your immune system, raising the levels of natural killer cell activity.

However, too much sun can cause skin cancer, heat stroke, dehydration and suppressed immune function. Here’s why you need to let the sun in and enjoy it!

The Sun’s Effect On Your Mood

Sunshine increases the hormone serotonin, which is connected with feelings of happiness and wakefulness. It also regulates the chemical melatonin, which is associated with sleep.

That could account for why we may feel like sleeping more in the winter and not feel as elated and energized as we do at the height of summer.

The Wonder Of Vitamin D

As more research is done, it’s becoming apparent that vitamin D is something of a wonder vitamin. It’s not only necessary to make calcium work in our bones, it’s been linked to a host of health benefits such as stimulating the immune system, lowering rates of cancer, bone fractures, diabetes, heart disease, even anxiety and depression.

And the most attainable, absorbable source of vitamin D is the ultraviolet rays of the sun. It only takes 15 minutes of sunlight exposure to get a full day’s supply, yet according to recent studies, 75 percent of Americans are vitamin D deficient.

Let The Sun Shine

Instead of hiding under a quilt, get outside. Embrace the weather. Try to take a walk every day, even a short one when the sun is highest in the sky.

It not only makes you appreciate the contrast of seasons, it elevates your mood and lets you soak up that beneficial vitamin D.

Of course, if you happen to live in the southern climes your concern could be getting too much sun. In that case, maximize the benefit from the sun by limiting direct exposure to thirty minute or less, when the sun is at its peak.

May you live long, live strong, and live happy!

Dr. Mao Shing Ni, best known as Dr. Mao is a bestselling author, doctor of Oriental Medicine, and board certified anti-aging expert. He has recently appeared on “The Ricki Lake Show,” “Dr. Oz,” and contributes to Yahoo Health and The Huffington Post. Dr. Mao practices acupuncture, nutrition, and Chinese medicine with his associates at the Tao of Wellness in Santa Monica, Newport Beach, and Pasadena. Dr. Mao and his brother, Dr. Daoshing Ni, founded the Tao of Wellness more than 25 years ago in addition to founding Yo San University in Marina del Rey. To make an appointment for evaluation and treatment call 310.917.2200 or you can email Dr. Mao at contact@taoofwellness.com. To subscribe to his tip-filled newsletter, visit www.taoofwellness.com.